Tagged: marriage

Wedding Gifts Both the Couple and Guest Will Love

 

Weddings are perhaps one of the toughest events when it comes to gift giving. A lot of people just give money, and of course the Bride and Groom appreciate it. However, many Wedding guests prefer to give a more meaningful gift that is more closely tied to Wedding tradition.

 

Wedding gifts were traditionally given to the Bride and Groom as a way to help set up their household. The couple had typically been living with their parents prior to the marriage and needed to start from scratch when they got married and set up a home.

 

Today, of course, many couples are older and have been living on their own for a while. They already have a lot of the household items that you need to run a home, and may even need to consolidate two households into one. Therefore, it isn’t as necessary to give household and dining items as it once was, even though these still continue to be traditional Wedding gifts.

 

It is possible, however, to stay true to tradition by selecting a decorative item for the Bride and Groom’s new home. By choosing something that is unique, meaningful and matches the couple’s tastes, you will be giving a gift that will be displayed in their home and provide memories for a lifetime. One great option is to choose an unusual wall or shelf cross as a reminder that they are not in their marriage alone.

 

Bride and Grooms have traditionally registered at major department stores as a way of spreading the word as to what they need as gifts. While still popular, many guests prefer not to use Wedding registries for a number of reasons. For one, many guests feel that their gifts will get lost in the mundane – what couple will really remember years from now who gave them that set of sheets?

 

But even if you prefer not to give a gift from the Bridal registry, you might want to check it out to get an idea of the styles that the Bride and Groom like as well as what type of things they can use. Then, you can use that information and put your own unique spin on it to give a gift that the couple will treasure. For example, find out from their registry the colors they have chosen for their bathroom decor, then choose a unique glass decanter for the bathroom counter to complement their theme.

 

Probably the most troubling part of gift giving at Weddings is knowing how much to spend. Many people have their opinion as to how much you should spend on a Wedding gift, but it comes down to the fact that you shouldn’t spend more than you can afford. The Bride and Groom invited you to share in their big day, not to collect a nice big gift. If a couple sits around after the big day valuing the gifts they received, you have to question if they are worth giving a gift to in the first place.

 

There are creative and meaningful gifts available in a wide variety of price ranges. If price is a concern for you consider a lovely pewter keepsake box or glass candlesticks. The Wedding is an important and meaningful day for the Bride and Groom and the goal is to find a gift that is truly suited to them, regardless of the cost.


What’s Worse – Marriage, Death or Taxes?

Death and taxes are two of the certainties in life but marriage is a choice (at least in our society) so the answer has got to be “marriage!”

Let’s just take a look at the facts:

  • Men die on average 5 years before women – one reason is so they can have a rest!
  • Half of marriages end in divorce – divorce is derived from the Latin word related to emasculate but in a modern sense it really means open wallet extraction without anesthetic;
  • Men are expected to work and provide while women are expected to stay at home and look after the kids, which neatly leads on to;
  • Kids – affectionate little darlings that will eat, poop and sleep usually when you wish to do one of the aforementioned and don’t forget the cost even without college tuition – for each and every one your beloved pops out you are just paying for a Ferrari.

Death and taxes are a couple of things you just have to deal with in life unless you want to be Wesley Snipes new roomie at whatever penitentiary he’s serving time in for failing to render unto Uncle Sam that which belongs to Uncle Sam.  Death is inescapable and there is nothing you can do about that except postpone it – look after yourself, exercise regularly, watch your diet and keep your life as stress free and as calm as possible (yet another reason to avoid marriage!).

Unless you are into pain and distress, why would anyone choose such a state of being?

Death and taxes are things we have no real control over – they exist, they are a fact of life so deal with them and get over it!

Marriage is a choice but why do so many lemmings take the plunge if it’s such a bad rap?

Sex is a big reason, you get comfortable with someone and you start thinking pillow thoughts such as, “This would be great every day.” and guess what – she knows it too!

Society as a whole has placed the institution of marriage on a pedestal and so much marketing spin has been applied it is almost impossible to separate fact from friction.  Sex is NOT something you get every day when you are married – if you’re still getting laid once a month after five years it isn’t with your wife!  There is an old adage about why lobster bisque is the same as a night of passion – when you’re married they are both things you only get away from home!

Sex is not the primary cause of divorce though – the real reason is actually money issues but therein lies the rub – you don’t need to be in financial hell to mess up your marriage because no matter what you make, no matter how much you accumulate and no matter what kind of great life you provide for your wife and family you have to understand it will NEVER be enough! Be careful before you give the engagement ring.

This is hard wired into women; the grass will always be greener but it is not a change of view they are interested in so much as a more successful man – don’t be arrogant or full of hubris here because there are always guys who make more than you do unless your name is Bill Gates.  It comes down to who will look after her and the kids better and if someone comes onto the scene who looks like they can – your days are numbered.

It is the masking of marriage as an ideal state of being that has raised expectations for so many couples embarking on this lifelong commitment which half will never keep – expectations have been raised beyond reality and in effect, marriage has become little more than a marketing con which is crass hypocrisy.


Happily Everafter is Indeed a Dream

Ask a guy who’s been married about his wife telling him she never wants him to change, she just loves him as he is and then ask what happened with that after getting married.

Try it as your own social experiment because you’re going to be surprised by the results.

Think about the number of divorces that cite not adultery as the reason but “irreconcilable differences” or “an irretrievable breakdown” as the grounds for getting the court order to issue the decree absolute and let a couple get on with their lives …separately.

When a couple is contemplating marriage they are not thinking the same things or looking to get the same out of the arrangement.

After getting engaged, getting her engagement ring and then getting her man, she is thinking this is a man who will work and provide a home, a man I can have have children with and more to the point a man who she can have children with AND who will then continue to look after her and the children come what may.It’s a powerful instinct involving mothering that is working here, honed by hundreds of years of habit and, some would say, evolution so do not cast blame on the women for seeing matrimony in this way.

He’s thinking in more blunt terms – sex on a more regular basis, claiming a tax deduction as a married man, getting his laundry done, having home cooked food and so on.  It doesn’t impact on his mindset that actually what he is doing is entering into this contract in which she may or may not agree to do these things for him but he darn’ well better get it straight that he’s expected to deliver for her!

The standards that are being set are hers not his but at the point of sale she isn’t telling him that or certainly he isn’t listening!

Then you have is a case miscommunication or a bad case of misspelling – your choice.

She has major expectations not only for now but for the ongoing future and that will mean making very sure she and the nuclear family are stable and secure not only for today but for always.  This places increasing demands on the husband to deliver the goods but his mindset is thinking about how great it would be to earn enough to pay the bills but keep his life the same as it was with a few extra benefits added such as sex and laundry.

This is a recipe for disharmony and friction; irrespective of your sex, if you purchased something that after a while no longer lives up to your expectations what do you do?

Carry on with it in a half-hearted abut disappointed fashion or trade it in for something that will get the job you see as needing to get done?

Of Course you buy something else in that will do the job you need done in a way you are totally happy with!

Don’t blame women for feeling the same way and especially when they have the kids playing a major role in this kind of thinking, but, as a man or woman contemplating marriage you need to open your eyes to the reality behind the passion and declarations of devotion.  She will be looking for improvement and constant increases in the levels of security and comfort he is expected to provide, whereas he is thinking sex will be on tap and he never has to worry about putting in too much starch when he washes his underwear.