Mental Mind Stuff

Remember, when you were growing up, the simple little disc charms that your mother wore? Remember how they dangled from her bracelet; set with tiny little birthstones, representing each one of her children, and how proud she was to show them off? Or how they were used to entertain a certain (hint, hint) wriggly toddler as he (or she) sat on her lap; or on occasion, jiggled around to soothe a crying baby.

Perhaps your grandmother or favorite aunt wore such bracelets themselves. Well now, there is a fresh twist on this timeless custom. One of the newest , as well as cutest, items to arrive on the sentimental jewelry scene has been: The Moppet. While the official definition of ‘Moppet’ refers to a beloved child, these particular Moppets are, affectionately worn; jewel (or birthstone) encrusted charms, representing the special (or beloved) little ‘Moppets’ in your life. They arrive in likenesses of either girls or boys. Some don baseball caps, while others are adorned in bows and pigtails. In fact, some even have cute little built-in “accessories” of their very own! These delightfully unique charms arrive in either silver or gold, and are designed to be worn dangling from a charm bracelet or suspended from a necklace. The faceless little darlings are so adorable, that one can almost picture a barely suppressed impish grin or giggle. Why not consider picking up one or two of them to give to a few of the special ladies in your life.

Moppets are provided by Danforth Diamond, your engagement ring experts.

Oh, we almost forgot….the Muppets…What has one got to do with the other, you may ask? With the exception of extreme cuteness….Absolutely nothing! Let’s just say a little Moppet told us to say this:

Minah Minah…

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Death and taxes are two of the certainties in life but marriage is a choice (at least in our society) so the answer has got to be “marriage!”

Let’s just take a look at the facts:

• Men die on average 5 years before women – one reason is so they can have a rest!
• Half of marriages end in divorce – divorce is derived from the Latin word related to emasculate but in a modern sense it really means open wallet extraction without anesthetic;
• Men are expected to work and provide while women are expected to stay at home and look after the kids, which neatly leads on to;
• Kids – affectionate little darlings that will eat, poop and sleep usually when you wish to do one of the aforementioned and don’t forget the cost even without college tuition – for each and every one your beloved pops out you are just paying for a Ferrari.

Death and taxes are a couple of things you just have to deal with in life unless you want to be Wesley Snipes new roomie at whatever penitentiary he’s serving time in for failing to render unto Uncle Sam that which belongs to Uncle Sam.  Death is inescapable and there is nothing you can do about that except postpone it – look after yourself, exercise regularly, watch your diet and keep your life as stress free and as calm as possible (yet another reason to avoid marriage!).

Unless you are into pain and distress, why would anyone choose such a state of being?

Death and taxes are things we have no real control over – they exist, they are a fact of life so deal with them and get over it!

Marriage is a choice but why do so many lemmings take the plunge if it’s such a bad rap?

Sex is a big reason, you get comfortable with someone and you start thinking pillow thoughts such as, “This would be great every day.” and guess what – she knows it too!

Society as a whole has placed the institution of marriage on a pedestal and so much marketing spin has been applied it is almost impossible to separate fact from friction.  Sex is NOT something you get every day when you are married – if you’re still getting laid once a month after five years it isn’t with your wife!  There is an old adage about why lobster bisque is the same as a night of passion – when you’re married they are both things you only get away from home!

Sex is not the primary cause of divorce though – the real reason is actually money issues but therein lies the rub – you don’t need to be in financial hell to mess up your marriage because no matter what you make, no matter how much you accumulate and no matter what kind of great life you provide for your wife and family you have to understand it will NEVER be enough! Be careful before you give the engagement ring.

This is hard wired into women; the grass will always be greener but it is not a change of view they are interested in so much as a more successful man – don’t be arrogant or full of hubris here because there are always guys who make more than you do unless your name is Bill Gates.  It comes down to who will look after her and the kids better and if someone comes onto the scene who looks like they can – your days are numbered.

It is the masking of marriage as an ideal state of being that has raised expectations for so many couples embarking on this lifelong commitment which half will never keep – expectations have been raised beyond reality and in effect, marriage has become little more than a marketing con which is crass hypocrisy.

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Ask a guy who’s been married about his wife telling him she never wants him to change, she just loves him as he is and then ask what happened with that after getting married.

Try it as your own social experiment because you’re going to be surprised by the results.

Think about the number of divorces that cite not adultery as the reason but “irreconcilable differences” or “an irretrievable breakdown” as the grounds for getting the court order to issue the decree absolute and let a couple get on with their lives …separately.

When a couple is contemplating marriage they are not thinking the same things or looking to get the same out of the arrangement.

After getting engaged, getting her engagement ring and then getting her man, she is thinking this is a man who will work and provide a home, a man I can have have children with and more to the point a man who she can have children with AND who will then continue to look after her and the children come what may.It’s a powerful instinct involving mothering that is working here, honed by hundreds of years of habit and, some would say, evolution so do not cast blame on the women for seeing matrimony in this way.

He’s thinking in more blunt terms – sex on a more regular basis, claiming a tax deduction as a married man, getting his laundry done, having home cooked food and so on.  It doesn’t impact on his mindset that actually what he is doing is entering into this contract in which she may or may not agree to do these things for him but he darn’ well better get it straight that he’s expected to deliver for her!

The standards that are being set are hers not his but at the point of sale she isn’t telling him that or certainly he isn’t listening!

Then you have is a case miscommunication or a bad case of misspelling – your choice.

She has major expectations not only for now but for the ongoing future and that will mean making very sure she and the nuclear family are stable and secure not only for today but for always.  This places increasing demands on the husband to deliver the goods but his mindset is thinking about how great it would be to earn enough to pay the bills but keep his life the same as it was with a few extra benefits added such as sex and laundry.

This is a recipe for disharmony and friction; irrespective of your sex, if you purchased something that after a while no longer lives up to your expectations what do you do?

Carry on with it in a half-hearted abut disappointed fashion or trade it in for something that will get the job you see as needing to get done?

Of Course you buy something else in that will do the job you need done in a way you are totally happy with!

Don’t blame women for feeling the same way and especially when they have the kids playing a major role in this kind of thinking, but, as a man or woman contemplating marriage you need to open your eyes to the reality behind the passion and declarations of devotion.  She will be looking for improvement and constant increases in the levels of security and comfort he is expected to provide, whereas he is thinking sex will be on tap and he never has to worry about putting in too much starch when he washes his underwear.

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